Extreme DIY projects for ridiculous, turbo loaded, slightly stupid, super dangerous fun
Does the prospect of poking your eye out with a darning needle and chugging a bottle of essential oils excite you more than making a DIY laptop cozy or homemade bar of soap? If your style is a little more Regretsy than Etsy, maybe it’s time you took your do-it-yourself skills to the next level.
You may have to take time off work and you’ll probably lose sleep, friends, money and a tiny bit of your dignity to complete these projects, but you’re guaranteed to blow the vanilla DIY set out of the water.
Several of these projects come from a DIY website called Instructables, which can only be described as a social network of modded power tool-wielding sci-fi pyromaniacs and other people with far too much time on their hands.
1. Clone yourself
Is your Real Doll looking a little long in the rubber tooth? Take your life-sized doll fetish to the next level with this DIY paper clone project. In just seven days, you’ll be able to gaze longingly into your own creepy, paper eyes. Just don’t make out with it unless you’re in the market for a giant DIY spitball.
2. Warm your wieners with solar power
If you have more time on your hands than you do propane, then do we have the DIY project for you! With this DIY solar hotdog cooker, masterminded by Vancouver-based IWillTry.org, you can distract backyard wiener roast guests from the fact that you’re serving them slaughterhouse compost with your impressive eco-friendly culinary skills.
(Image: Flickr / purplelime)
3. Shred your pasta
Do people even shred paper anymore? If your coworkers ask why you’re stuffing the office paper shredder under your shirt, just tell them management has replaced it with a fancy new piece of technology called the ‘delete’ button. Then, with a little cleaning and a few simple modifications, you can repurpose that archaic piece of office equipment into a gourmet DIY pasta machine! Besides, shredding sweet strings of semolina is way sexier than picking staples out of legal documents from the '90s. (Just be careful not to shred your fingers, children, paperclips or neckties.)
4. Enter your living room like a Starship captain
Is your Geordi La Forge visor losing its panty-dropping appeal?
If you know your way around a 5-way, 12V solenoid-operated valve and want something to complement your Captain Picard pyjamas, this DIY Star Trek door project is for you. Just try to keep the Trekkie babes out of your holodeck of love.
5. Take the pinball party home
Tired of your precious beers sliding off those slanted old school pinball machines at the bar? Now you can take your alcoholic, anti-social behaviour home with this DIY pinball machine coffee table. Warning: Don't share your handiwork with classic pinball machine admirers or you may get a drink in your face for ruining a valuable collector’s item.
6. Coffee addiction redemption
Nothing screams a caffeine addiction quite like a giant disco ball made of your old coffee cups. If you’re like me and still manage to forget your travel mug more than you remember it, here's your redemption: Make this DIY coffee cup lamp and light up your shame for all to see. At least you’re recycling!
7. Send your Christmas tree into the stratosphere
Is your Christmas tree still staring at you from the corner of your living room like a dried up, pine-scented pile of judgment? Maybe you’re waiting for the perfect opportunity to remove it from your life. We’re well into January now, so quit pussyfooting around. Opportunity is looking you square in the face; we call it 32 rockets and an open field.
8. Turbo-charge your toilet
If rocketing your tree into space piqued your interest for more fiery projectiles, maybe set your sights a little higher by replicating the World’s Fastest Toilet. All you need is a spare Boeing Jet engine, $10,000 and a desire to be remembered as a one of the pioneers of high-speed port-a-potty travel.
9. Give the gift of chocolate boobs
If you’re more Michelangelo than Evel Knievel, and paper clones are too PG for you, try making this DIY chocolate breast mold for that special someone. And don’t feel you have to stop at breasts—who wouldn't want a life-sized replica of your junk in rich, dark chocolate?
More (slightly more practical) DIY projects on GranvilleOnline.ca:
Check back with the DIY Vancouver blog regularly for more DIY inspiration!
Jessica Grajczyk enjoys composing website content for dentists and mechanical engineers as much as writing exciting lifestyle pieces on tasty baked goods, DIY crafts and life in Vancouver. She is co-founder of The Vegan Project, an online resource for people interested in the vegan lifestyle, and sunlights as a web copywriter for Webcopyplus. Twitter | Website | LinkedIn