BCLiving takes you inside one of the most outrageously upmarket real estate offerings in the province

Address: 1925 Adanac Street, Vancouver

Price: $4,488,000

Listing: R2327766

The skinny: Three-bedroom, two-bathroom, 2,646-square-foot house on a 7,886-square-foot lot in Grandview-Woodland

The bling: It’s time to reach deep within and scratch around for that kernel of authenticity you’ve been yearning for. Bring it out into the light, nourish it, surround it with good vibes while surrounding yourself with folks who understand what it really means to get in touch with your inner self and work hard. This is a great opportunity to spend millions of dollars to live in a real neighbourhood, where lattes are still made with coffee and milk (and called cappuccinos), and people actually tend to their own gardens and clean their own toilets. We know, that may be taking things a little too far—you didn’t preserve those soft, expertly manicured nails to be tilling the soil or squirting bleach with them, after all—and we’re sure no one will judge you for employing a cleaner. You could knock on a few doors and ask if anyone has a Nonna looking for some pin money—what better way to ingratiate yourself and find someone who’ll look after you for love, not the few measly bucks you throw her way. Seriously, treat her like she’s (almost) one of the family, and she’ll repay you with all the lasagna, babysitting and Olde Worlde wisdom you could have wished for. (And don’t worry about the whispers under her breath—they may sound like ancient curses, but they’re actually just her way of reminding herself she’s here to serve.) You’ll be welcomed with open arms into this wonderful hood, and if you do knock down this delightfully appointed colourful multimillion-dollar home in order to smooth out some corners and make a mansion that’s easier to manage and clean (always thinking about Nonna—so benevolent), no one will bat an eye. They’ll understand you’re doing it for them: showing them what a little aspiration can achieve, leading by example and making sure the property prices continue to ensure a steady stream of people just like yourself prepared to make East Van the new Point Grey.

The hidden extras: None that we can see, but feel free to use your imagination.

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