BCLiving takes you inside one of the most outrageously upmarket real estate offerings in the province

Address: 3717 Victoria Drive, Coquitlam

Price: $5,280,000

MLS: R2282409

The skinny: Four-bedroom, six-bathroom, 4,254-square-foot house on six acres of Burke Mountain

The bling: Enough with the bland. Who wants to be like all the other rich people in the street with their Italian marble, infinity pools and six-car garages? Not you, right? You’ve got money to burn and a personality to purchase, so you’re on the lookout for a holiday home with a story to tell, a background with enough bragging bravado that your guests will understand immediately just how interesting you could have been if you’d had any interests in life beyond collecting all the cash. Here, then, is a literal log cabin fit for royalty. What’s that you say? The yellow cabinets, the endless wood (it is a log cabin, you know)— what form of royalty would stoop so low? Well, my friend, we may be shocked you would doubt our word, but let us reiterate: this place has some serious secrets to tell about who has rocked and rolled that superior step-up tub. Oh, yes. Word is that not only did Princess Margaret herself once deign to sleep here, but that bastion of Hollywood royalty, the late, great Burt Reynolds also hitched his wagon to the fence post at one time. (One time, we said, not the same time.) These fascinating (unverified) facts come free with the property but—we are sure you will agree—are absolutely priceless. They are the gold nuggets of history and class your wealth allows you to appropriate and use to up your status among your deeply shallow cohort. Yes, you can buy your luck.

The hidden extras: Natural creek, pond, land, 1,160-square-foot guest cottage

2 front yard4 living room5 dining room6 kitchen7 kitchen8 den9 bathroom10 bedroom11 bedroom12 bedroom13 patio14 backyard15 cottage16 cottage yard17 acreage18 treehouse19 woods20 barn