Big Fat Deal: $7 Million for 50 Shades of Beige in Ladner

Inside a four-bedroom, three-bathroom, 3,385-square-foot house on 55 acres in Ladner

BCLiving takes you inside one of the most outrageously upmarket real estate offerings in the province

Address: 3200 Westham Island Road, Westham Island, Ladner

Price: $6,998,800.00

MLS: R2233277

The skinny: Four-bedroom, three-bathroom, 3,385-square-foot house on 55 acres in Ladner. 

The bling: Hadn’t you heard? Beige is the new bling thing. Seriously. What does “understated grandeur” mean, if not a property decked out with brown fixtures and even browner fittings—and this home has them ad nauseum. Fifty shades of blah, blah, blah. A home so boring, it can be easily imagined as your forever house. Because, let’s face it, nothing says you’re already headed for retirement better than a care home colour scheme. As bland as the soft-textured menu that lies in your future, this base will set you up for spending the rest of your life in quiet, unremarkable ordinariness. And it’s even all on one level. Now, put on your slippers, flip your velveteen La-Z-Boy into a mildly reclining position, and settle in for another swing through Midsomer Murders while sipping a nice hot cup of cocoa.

The hidden extras: Barn, office, heaps of parking, income from 54 acres of land leased to a farmer.