Big Fat Deal: $39 million for a Kim-and-Kanye-worthy Shaughnessy Crib

BCLiving takes you inside one of the most outrageously upmarket real estate offerings in the province 

BCLiving takes you inside one of the most outrageously upmarket real estate offerings in the province

Address: 3490 Pine Crescent, Vancouver
Price: $38,900,000
MLS: R2063106
 
The skinny: Six-bedroom, eight-bathroom, 11,952-square-foot Shaughnessy mansion on a 26,749-square-foot lot.
 
The bling: Well, clearly, this deal isn’t just fat, it’s positively obese. A First Shaughnessy address is about as blingy as they come around here—although the fact this manor just a year old betrays its unbridled wannabe aristocratic yearning. Oh yes, it’s all a bit Kim and Kanye—a bit David and Victoria, even. Just look at those coffered ceilings, the dark wood library, the Romanesque pool and the oversized chimneys. Nouveau riche doesn’t begin to cover it, dahling. The cost of the marble in the bathrooms alone could probably buy several Italian hilltop villages, lock, stock and barrels of vin santo. Here is a house for people who think class is all about sitting up straight on white furnishings pretending to spend their time enjoying the finer side of life, but when the tea and fancies have been cleared away, and the Gucci-clad ladies have been chauffeured down the street, they slip into their baby pink Juicy Couture velour track suits with custom crystal lettering on the ass, pour themselves a Goldschläger and soda, and stay up all night playing Grand Theft Auto in the top-of-the-line media room. But we’re just jealous haters, right?
 
The hidden extras: Everything you ever dreamed of, and more: in-law suite and nanny suite (so that’s the blasted rug rats taken care of 24/7), elevator, hot tub, sauna, four-car garage and entertainment floor (psst: that’s what you call the basement suite when you don’t need the rental income).